Steven Gans, MD is board-certified in psychiatry and is an active supervisor, teacher, and mentor at Massachusetts General Hospital. Sometimes, the conversation has to end before this point, and this can be unavoidable. (2018). What does feel your feelings actually mean? Remind your loved one that what they are going through matters and is important. If what you have been through was a case of the blues, on the other hand, your friend may feel like you are trivializing their experience by comparing it to yours. It's best not to say things like: Well at least you already have two kids. Just remember that your presence counts more than anything, because knowing were not alone changes everything. Giving emotional support is a way to show care and compassion. Busyness is a big one, says Howes. For example, a person may have family or work obligations. If you use any of these nine phrases, youre more emotionally secure than most people: 1. subject to our Terms of Use. The answer is, it depends. Do they want us to talk it through with them? All rights reserved. Instead, the goal of emotional support should be to make the other person feel heard, valued, and cared for. You dont have to feel ashamed if you recognize yourself in any of the unhelpful responses. A Nairobi labor court subsequently issued a temporary order halting the layoffs, pending the outcome of the unfair termination suit. You dont have to answer for other peoples mistakes. 2001;322(7283):419-21. doi:10.1136/bmj.322.7283.419, Kelly MA, Morse JQ, Stover A, et al. Offer practical help. Resist the urge to keep checking their texts. 4. Cacioppo JT, Hughes ME, Waite LJ, Hawkley LC, Thisted RA. My wifes simple presence helped me keep my head above the waves more times than I can count. At times, you just need to listen to your loved one about their concerns. 12. If you buy something through our retail links, we may earn an affiliate commission. What youre going through isnt fair at all. I hope you feel better soon!. Does your throat feel tight?. Self-medicating with alcohol or drugs can feel gooduntil it doesnt. For example, questions to ask a person who is worried about money could include: Material support involves performing tasks or services. Letting someone know that they are not alone and being open to what they want to share is an important step. Show them that even if they feel weak on the inside, they are so incredibly brave for moving forward in their healing. The writer Parker Palmer went through a dark depression and later wrote that the human soul doesnt want to be advised or fixed or saved. If feelings are overwhelming, if it feels like youre caught in a loop and ruminating and feeling worse, absolutely you should find something to take your mind off of it, says Howes. Its not always easy to articulate how you feel if youre overwhelmed with stress. Youre doing your best. While you are reassuring your friend that they have a real illness, you can also reassure them that there is hope, because, like any other medical illness, depression is treatable. Emotional awareness and knowing how to manage those feelings can go a long way to support our resilience, says Grych. While it may feel dark and hopeless at times not to mention hard to remember the bright moments there are good days coming and things to look forward to. Depression doesnt look or feel the same to everyone. Thinking creatively about how to make a positive change is a great way to help. Emotional support is showing care and compassion for another person. As long as they know you are there, they will find a bit of comfort from your emotional support. The 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline is available 24 hours a day at 988. Let them know that you care and that you are there to talk about it if they want to. Physical sensations are often useful antidotes to strong emotional distress. More than half of people say that they need emotional support to make difficult decisions. In these situations, trying to fix the problem for them may make the person feel frustrated or like they are wrong to feel upset about it. 10. Offer physical affection After a difficult conversation, giving someone a hug can provide physical support that reinforces the emotional support Holding a loved ones hand while they go through a painful procedure, receive unpleasant news, or To help, consider these therapist-approved tips for tackling your emotions head-on. Most of us are feeling itbut a few simple adjustments can help ease the strain. This link will open in a new window. How have things changed for you since _____? Its not easy knowing what to say to someone when theyre struggling with a condition like depression or overwhelming anxiety. If you would like to give yourself a break, I would like to help make that happen. If a person feels unable to offer support, they should compassionately express this. By Nancy Schimelpfening Canadian Network for Mood and Anxiety Treatments (CANMAT) 2016 Clinical Guidelines for the Management of Adults with Major Depressive Disorder: Section 3. If your loved one is living with depression, they may need professional help. Whatever helps you feel like youre working through the emotion. If youre not very close to the individual, this is the best way to let them know youre thinking of them. Below, find some examples of phrases that accomplish these goals. Learn about triggers, treatments, and prevention strategies, Emotional exhaustion can arise after a period of excessive stress. 11 ways to help someone struggling emotionally Validate their emotions. Were going to be talking about what to do instead of numbing your feelings, so its important to know that this numbing looks different to everyone. 1. Or a glass of wine. From there, engage your loved one in something more comforting. The American Psychological Associations 2022 Stress in America report found that emotional support correlated with lower stress levels and higher rates of well-being. Our website is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. One way to be supportive is to listen to what someone has to say and let them know they dont have to shoulder the full burden of this anxiety. Personally, Im a fan of hopping in a shower (hot or cold, depending on how Im feeling), using an acupuncture mat ($20, amazon.com), or the old trick of holding an ice cube to ground myself. It also covers statements that someone who is depressed might find helpful to hear. And by helping a friend whos struggling, you might feel a little happier, too. The important thing is to reach out and let the person know that they matter to you. Our website services, content, and products are for informational purposes only. WebCookie Cuts Fitness (@cookie_cuts) on Instagram: "Ive felt many different versions of pain throughout my life. When you reach out to a friend, letting them know that you are going to be there every step of the way can be very reassuring. They might just need to vent about their problems, and letting them know that you understand their feelings of frustration helps them feel less alone. Whats the hardest part of the situation for you? This can make a substantial difference to a persons health and happiness. While your loved one might not be willing or ready to talk about their particular tragedy, it never hurts to ask. Benazzi F. Various forms of depression. Often the simplest way to initiate a conversation is to be direct: Ask your friend if they are depressed. 9 famous quotes Next steps It can be tough finding the right thing to say to someone close who has depression. Call 911 or the local emergency number, or text TALK to 741741 to communicate with a trained crisis counselor. Basically, its anything you do intentionally or unconsciously to avoid facing your feelings. Encourage them to get help from a mental health professional and be on the lookout for signs of suicidal thinking or behavior. Instead, were investigating our emotions to find further information to help us cope with them, not directly act on them. Recap Listening can help make their mental and emotional pain more bearable as they go through the course of treatment prescribed by their doctor and/or therapist. Emotional support can help a person cope with their emotions and experiences and show them that they are not alone. All rights reserved. Last but not least, sometimes the best thing you can say is nothing at all. They may just want to talk, to process what they are going through. Should depression be managed as a chronic disease? Let them talk through their stress and worries. Have you ever experienced clinically significant depression? Whats going on in your chest? Whats the hardest part of the situation for you? Maybe they just want a listening ear or someone to sit with them. Know what your go-to numbing behaviors are. This link will open in a new window. Sometimes it really is totally fine and healthy. Even if your friend's problems may seem minor to you, resist the urge to judge or come up with simple solutions. 5. While depression is an illness, those who live with it may feel that it's a character flaw. It can be tough finding the right thing to say to someone close who has depression. If you spot warning signs of suicide, you should talk to your loved one and ask them to speak with a mental health professional. When you dont judge a feeling, you give yourself permission to really feel itwhich is often something many of us dont allow ourselves to do. If help from friends and family does not feel like enough or is making things worse, there are other options. Lending tangible, practical support can be a great way to help someone who is depressed. 1. Some things to try to avoid include: Asking for support can be a difficult step, but it is an important one. You are the strongest person I know! Whether you need to know what to say when someone has a sick family member, or youve run out of ways to say how can I help." What are the qualities of emotional support? Too many people with clinical depression feel alonea state that only worsens their condition. Whoever is nearby becomes a convenient target. Depression is a common issue that is about as prevalent in Black women as other women, but there are differences. 2017;52(12):1463-1473. doi:10.1007/s00127-017-1440-7. If a person has a skill or capability that might be useful, they can ask the other person if they would like assistance. Nobody likes to be told to stay calm or move on. No matter how simple the situation seems from the outside, feelings are valid in their own way. They dont realize the relief that comes with not having to suppress it any longer.. When there is an immediate risk, you should remove dangerous items from the home, make sure you don't leave them alone, and get help from a medical professional immediately. By the way, there are a lot of cool resources out there to help you expand your emotional vocabulary, which in turn can help you identify your emotions more easily. Giving emotional support is a way of helping people feel connected and less alone. Emotional support is working if the other person verbalizes that the support has been helpful or seems calmer or more hopeful afterward. When things go wrong, how do we avoid placing blame on ourselves? Become a member. Child Care Aware of America is a not-for-profit organization recognized as tax-exempt under the internal revenue code section 501(c)(3) and the organizations Federal Identification Number (EIN) is 94-3060756. Call 911 or the local emergency number, or text TALK to 741741 to communicate with a trained crisis counselor. Be a good listener. In the typical daily greeting when two people cross paths, one asks the other, How are you? Its easy to feel compelled to take action when something bad happens to a loved one. Here, find a framework for verbally supporting someone, along with specific phrases that may help when youre at a loss. I would love for you to call me next time you feel this way. Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement and Privacy Policy and Cookie Statement and Your California Privacy Rights. The best way to respond to an emotion once youve identified and unpacked itand once youre practicing some self-compassion around itwill differ for each person. Learn the Warning Signs, How to Love Yourself When Your Confidence Is Low, Toxic PositivityWhy It's Harmful and What to Say Instead, How to Support a Victim of Sexual Assault, How to Talk to Friends About Your Depression, Tips to Maintain an Interpersonal Relationship, Daily Tips for a Healthy Mind to Your Inbox, Small Ways to Feel Better When You're Depressed, Loneliness as a specific risk factor for depressive symptoms: Cross-sectional and longitudinal analyses, Seeking help for depression from family and friends: A qualitative analysis of perceived advantages and disadvantages, The relationship between social support networks and depression in the 2007 National Survey of Mental Health and Well-being, The link between depression and physical symptoms. Focus on your own progress, not perfection. It should simply be something that comes from a place of compassion and acceptance. Stressful situations arent supposed to be easy. If your friend is already seeing a healthcare provider, offer to help with picking up medications and being on time for appointments. If you have, it may be helpful for your friend to hear that you have experienced what they are feeling and that it can get better. If it seems like your friend or family member wants to be left alone, you can still send a text or a note of encouragement. Garipy G, Honkaniemi H, Quesnel-Valle A. Your message may be exactly what that person needs to hear. This technique involves listening attentively to what a person is saying and engaging directly with it. Neuropsychiatr Dis Treat. 6 encouraging phrases to say to a person with depression, who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/depression, ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4760272/, nhs.uk/mental-health/advice-for-life-situations-and-events/how-to-help-someone-with-depression/, How to Help a Partner Living With Depression, 20 Things to Say (and Not Say) to Someone with Depression, How to Rebound When Depression and Anxiety Wont Let Up, difficulty functioning and doing typical daily activities. Peer support is not a replacement for therapy. Packing your calendar full and saying, Im too busy to feel anything right now, Ive got too many things to worry about, or chronically putting your nose into other peoples business, offering support and advice to avoid facing your own stuff.. Nancy Schimelpfening, MS is the administrator for the non-profit depression support group Depression Sanctuary. 2016;61(9):540-60. doi:10.1177/0706743716659417, Lpine JP, Briley M. The increasing burden of depression. Im not going to lie to youI love numbing out. For example, if a person just found out that they did not get a job, a friend might say: Empathizing with anothers experiences as much as possible is an important part of emotional support. It also covers statements that someone who is depressed might find helpful to hear. Its almost always better to be present in an imperfect way than to avoid someone out of fear. Pharmacological Treatments, Social support and protection from depression: Systematic review of current findings in Western countries. It cannot replace therapy or medical treatment, but it makes a significant difference to well-being. If they dont seem receptive, consider trying at a different time or taking a different approach. I dont think anything can really make this pain better, but Im here for whatever you need. Seth J. Gillihan, PhD, is a licensed psychologist who specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and mindfulness-based interventions. "I know what you mean. Just show up. Validate their emotions. BMJ. https://dictionary.apa.org/emotional-support, https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/ggi.13490, https://www.apa.org/topics/stress/manage-social-support, https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/stress/2022/march-2022-survival-mode, Alzheimers: New blood biomarker could predict risk of cognitive decline, Researchers investigate what causes psoriasis and how it spreads, Low-dose atropine eyedrops may delay onset of nearsightedness in children, Heart attack may speed up cognitive decline, study finds, Type 2 diabetes: 1 in 5 'healthy' people may have prediabetes metabolism. Depression can feel like a weight on your chest. Find out what to do and discover resources to help you cope. Validating their feelings goes a step further, letting the person know that how they feel is normal and OK. For example, if a loved one is grieving, a person might say: It may be difficult to empathize with emotions that a person has not experienced themselves. This article discusses what you can do when you want to say more, but have a hard time expressing what you feel. Whatever can shelter me from the storm of depression, anxiety, loneliness, anger, guilt, hurt, or whatever emotions I dont feel like dealing with at the moment. Psych Central does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Emotional support can provide connection, understanding, and sometimes ideas that may help solve problems. Not everyone 2. Following a unanimous vote of the organizations Board of Directors, Child Care Aware of America announced today that Susan Gale Perry will serve as the organizations next Chief Executive Officer. It can be incredibly painful to watch someone who means something to you struggle with inner emotions. What to say to a friend whos struggling: I hate that this happened to you. Social support and protection from depression: Systematic review of current findings in Western countries. This may mean that a person has to resist the impulse to try and fix things or talk someone out of how they are feeling. You can take this medically-reviewed depression quiz to help determine whether you have symptoms of depression and if you should speak with a mental. 2011;7(Suppl 1):3-7. doi:10.2147/NDT.S19617. If youre able to, remind them of your love, too. Want to comfort a friend whos struggling, but arent sure what to say? However, long-term, Depression is a common and serious mental health condition that can often take its toll on relationships. As long as youre focusing on acknowledging their experience and feelings, youre making a positive step in the right direction. It says, Youre important to me, and I want you to know more about me.. All products featured on SELF are independently selected by our editors. Depression treatments are a very important part of recovering from depression, but people often feel ashamed of their condition or pessimistic about whether treatment will really help. Especially in the middle of a literal pandemic when our emotions are constantly all over the place. Remind this person that they are loved. Your use of the site indicates acceptance of our privacy policy. We have a post-loss checklistthat will help you ensure that your loved one's family, estate, and other affairs are taken care of. Child Care Aware of America Names Susan Gale Perry as Chief Executive Officer. Offer our own perspective? It may include actions such as helping a person call a therapist or giving a hug to a crying friend. These opinions do not represent the opinions of WebMD. This website uses cookies to improve your experience. Dont underestimate the power of silence. Weve put together meaningful options for support. You can honestly never say this enough. Talk about exhausting. When in doubt, we can always ask someone how we can be most helpful. 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, Inc. Queer Portraits: How Sexual Orientation & Gender Expression Influence OurLives, Childfree, Single Women Are Among the Happiest: Therapists, Psychiatrists and Childfree Millennials ExplainWhy, Sarcasm Can Be A Red Flag of Psychopathy, According to ResearchHow It Looks in ToxicRelationships, Hookup Culture and Situationships Present Unique Risks to Women, Doctors and TherapistsSay, Raised By Narcissistic Parents? Maybe there arent words for the situation, but these phrases can help show that you care enough to try. Letting someone know that they are not alone and being open to what they want to share is an important step. Because thats another reason why this practice is so important: It allows us to choose how to mindfully and safely express our emotions instead of taking them out on others or falling into destructive patterns. 2023 Psych Central, a Healthline Media Company. Many users would be better served consulting an attorney than using a do-it-yourself online How are you coping? Spend time with them. If you dont have practice tolerating discomfort and harnessing unwieldy feelings into something manageable, theres a good chance youre having a really hard time right now. Expressing that they feel like a burden to others, Feelings of extreme hopelessness and sadness, Making ambiguous statements about not being around in the future, Open discussions about suicide or having a suicide plan. WebMD does not endorse any specific product, service or treatment. Whats going on in your gut? If youve ever been in a stressful situation, you know how frustrating it is. Instead, give the person a chance to vent their feelings freely. Ive been on the receiving end of some of these remarks, too, when Ive shared my struggles with depression or insomnia. Emotions have a physical basis, says Grych. Depression places a great weight on the person who is experiencing it, both physically and mentally, so there are probably many things you can do to ease the burden as your friend recovers. Well get to how to tell the difference between a helpful and unhelpful distraction later. You worry about their issues more than you do about your own well-being. MNT is the registered trade mark of Healthline Media. Letting someone know that they are not alone and being open to what they want to share is an Just show up. This is the type of anxiety we can all relate to in some shape or form. How to Cope With Anticipatory Grief When a Loved One Is Dying. They might not need you, but its still nice to know youre willing and able. As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases. In addition to making life a little bit easier day-to-day, these skills can help you develop a deeper sense of emotional regulationsomething thats imperative to our long-term mental health. Don't accuse, threaten, blame, or make light of what your friend is feeling. Instead of trying to understand a loved ones pain, or asking them to talk through it (when they may or may not be ready), simply say, I am here. The list goes on: Paint something. Even small acknowledgments of their feelings go a long way. When people are struggling emotionally, often it feels as if their problems are silly, or that theyre unworthy of feeling them. Ive torn muscles, ligaments, a" Responses like the following miss the mark because in one way or another, they invalidate the other persons experience. From experiencing the loss of a close loved one to daily work dress, these things are a normal part of life. Thats because you gave them all that time and space to do push-ups., So whats the alternative? The power of positive thinking: Pathological worry is reduced by thought replacement in generalized anxiety disorder. Maybe Its All in Your Head. When you cant understand someones struggles, you might resort to telling the person theyre imagining things. Just as an antibiotic for strep throat takes a while to work, antidepressants can take some time to change chemicals in the brain (sometimes upwards of eight weeks or longer). We believe reflecting on our mortality can help us lead more meaningful lives. Listen but dont judge, argue, yell, or threaten. Verywell Mind's content is for informational and educational purposes only. No matter the situation, diffuse their anxiety with some words of kindness. If your friend or loved one is feeling like theyre a burden or unworthy of your love, it can help to remind them that youre going to be there for them, always not just when things are going well. 3 Things to Do If Youre a Guy Who Has No Idea How to Start Therapy. Cookies collect information about your preferences and your devices and are used to make the site work as you expect it to, to understand how you interact with the site, and to show advertisements that are targeted to your interests. Verywell Mind articles are reviewed by board-certified physicians and mental healthcare professionals. All that said, asking what an emotion is trying to tell you can lead you in so many helpful, illuminating directions. Even if you cant take away their pain, you can still be there for them while theyre facing a crisis. Many patients have described to me the unhelpful comments theyve had to deal with. You get the point. Here are 16 helpful things to say to someone experiencing stress in one way or another. However, you should still support them through these messages. 12 Realistic Tips for Managing Mom Guilt, From Mothers Who Get It, You dont have to be everything to everyone all the time.. Emotions are adaptive and useful to us, John Grych, Ph.D., professor of psychology at Marquette University, tells SELF. Before you tell someone "I understand," you should be certain that you actually do. But every day is another page in their story. For information about opting out, click here. Help advocate in the child care field and access a host of resources to build your advocacy skills. Stay calm and continue to do what you can to love and support your friend in whatever way they will allow. Family issues can quickly grow out of control, and sometimes we cant handle them on our own. Is there anything I can do Its ok if nothing works; just expressing your concern and willingness to help can make a world of difference. This is not necessarily a sign that they do not care. Keep things confidential. Describing depression: Congruence between patient experiences and clinical assessments, Canadian Network for Mood and Anxiety Treatments (CANMAT) 2016 Clinical Guidelines for the Management of Adults with Major Depressive Disorder: Section 3. Read on to learn what emotional support is, how to give it, and how to ask for it. We dont have to allow for greater fear when we can relieve them of this pain. Rip up a piece of paper. Nancy Schimelpfening, MS is the administrator for the non-profit depression support group Depression Sanctuary. When someone we love is dealing with depression, we want to help but might not know where to start. Instead, a person can acknowledge someones pain by saying: Sometimes, a person needs to hear that they are loved. Keep up with Marisa on Instagram, Twitter, Amazon and marisadonnelly.com. Hell, try anxiously scrubbing a bathtub (dont judge me). Remind your loved one that what they are going through matters and is important. Know that theres no shame in a genuine Im so sorry.. But as a human in therapy, I know well that this isnt a great coping mechanismin fact, I know its often a majorly counterproductive one. Join Child Care Aware of America Staff and an expert in infectious disease to answer common questions related to preventing illness in child care. I feel awful imagining what youre going through. WebMD Expert Blog 2021 WebMD, LLC. Last medically reviewed on April 28, 2022, Emotional distress can involve many symptoms, including fatigue, guilt, and aggression. In the meantime, go with your gut on what you think might be your go-to way to numb out your feelings. Check in on them Make an effort to check in with your friend, even if it is a quick phone call, a card or an invitation to grab a coffee together. For some people, it can be a disability. Whatever it is, explore it with curiosity, not judgment (well get to that next), and if it helps, write it down. Twitter. Weve put together meaningful options for support. Exercising or getting outside are two common ways to deal with a strong negative feeling, but if those arent your cup of tea, there are other ways to tap into the emotion-regulating powers of your body. How to Deal With Tech Neck When You Look at Screens All Day. You feel left out because you saw your friends had a Zoom happy hour without you, but you push it away, telling yourself to stop being such a baby. Not everyone knows how to console someone, but you can still say something helpful. 2016;209(4):284-293. doi:10.1192/bjp.bp.115.169094. Just show up. Talking to someone who wont judge you can be life-changing. The best phrases offer support, comfort, and sometimes relief. "Do you want to talk about it? National Institute of Mental Health. Do you want to talk about something else? Marisa is a writer, poet, & editor. 8 Grounding Techniques to Try When Youre Spiraling, Im Not Interested in Being Cheered Up From a Bad Mood. Its easy to feel isolated if you have depression. However, supporting a partner with, Medical News Today has strict sourcing guidelines and draws only from peer-reviewed studies, academic research institutions, and medical journals and associations. Stay with the person until professional help arrives. Theres no right thing to say to someone with depression. Remind Them You're There for Them. Providing emotional support requires a person to listen without judgment and show that they understand by responding empathetically. Maybe you see on Instagram that a friend isnt taking social distancing very seriously and you think you feel anger but on further investigation realize that youre more disappointed than anything. Check-In Do you have a close friend, a partner, client, or a family member who is struggling, but has a difficult time asking for help? Your friend will appreciate any effort you put into helping them feel better. How to Vent to Your Friends Without Bringing Them Down. Ultimate Aromatherapy Diffuser & Essential Oil Set ($39.95), Everyday Michigan Four Berry Pie ($13.99), Adjustable Dumbbell Barbell Weight Pair ($109.99), Glenville Water Pump Cascading Water Fountain ($122.93), Coleman Dome Tent with Screen Room ($109.99), High Power Prism Monocular and Quick Smartphone Holder ($85.99). Even if things dont go according to plan, we can make the most of where we are in our journey by focusing on the smaller steps along the way. The strip-it-bare type, where you take what you could have said in 1,000 words, and instead say it in 100. Im so sorry for your loss. What Not to Say to Someone Struggling With Mental Health. Instead, let them know that you are sorry that they are feeling so badly and adopt an attitude of acceptance that this is how their depression is affecting them. People who want to be emotionally supportive need to consider what they know about the person seeking support, including their needs and feelings. Open the door to a lighter conversation by prompting if its time to think about something else. Sometimes people who are depressed just need to talk without having the conversation taken over with well-meaning advice. Sometimes we all need a reminder that were strong. You matter to me. Click here for more links and local resources. You mean well, you really do. And just because right now is bad doesnt mean later will be. When someone feels hopeless, it can seem like nothing will help relieve their symptoms. Severe anxiety or stress Constant feelings of sadness or hopelessness Increased use of alcohol or drugs What Can You Do? Stop me if this sounds familiar: Anger hits, but instead of feeling angry, you feel ashamed because it feels irrational. You feel sad because you cant celebrate your birthday at a restaurant, but then you feel guilty because its such a small thing to worry about compared to what other people are going through. Now you can focus on leaving a legacy instead of a mess. The former content moderators say they have been trapped in a difficult situation. Health & Beauty Say This, and NOT This, to Friends Who Are Struggling When you see a friend in distress, do you have a hard time finding the right words? Let me think about that before I respond.. without going too in-depth into your own feelings. Sometimes, they might feel shame if theyre experiencing difficult feelings, so it might help to remind them that its OK to feel that way. We follow a strict editorial process to provide you with the best content possible. 11 ways to help someone struggling emotionally Validate their emotions. Here are some phrases and ideas that might help you support a person you care about who has depression. Gentle reminder that your BFF is not your therapist. Learn more in our affiliate disclosure. Lets find another way to get support.. forms. It wont take away all of the sucky-ness of negative emotionslike, theyre still negative emotionsbut it will make them easier to deal with. People who need help can try: It is important for the person asking for support and the person giving it to have realistic expectations about what emotional support can and cannot achieve. Life is a complicated experience, and things dont always go according to plan. This is a big one. Dont let a return to the office derail your fitness plan. Discover new workout ideas, healthy-eating recipes, makeup looks, skin-care advice, the best beauty products and tips, trends, and more from SELF. But about five years ago my health took A therapist gives some tips for managing our feelings when someone is rude to us. It simply wants to be witnessed -- to be seen, heard and companioned exactly as it is. Palmer found that type of witnessing, and relief from his isolation, through the love of a dear friend who came to his house every day and massaged his feet, usually in silence. Keep in mind, however, that there are several different types of depression, and even if you did experience clinical depression, it may have been very different than what your friend is going through. Ad Choices, 9 Emotional Regulation Tips for Anyone Whos Struggling Right Now. Remember, too, that the help you think your friend may need may not match with what would actually be beneficial in their eyes. Who has the bandwidth to engage with and express their emotions all the time? Loss is hard. Investigating the power of music for dementia. Depression often makes us feel were worthless, like theres no point to anything, or that were unlovable. Life is a complicated experience, and things dont always go according to plan. Just remember not to sacrifice your own mental wellbeing while trying to help. If you know someone at immediate risk of self-harm, suicide, or hurting another person: If you or someone you know is having thoughts of suicide, a prevention hotline can help. The fees for the advice of an attorney should not be compared to the fees of do-it-yourself online You can remind your loved one that youre here for them, and that depression is a very common mental health condition many people experience it and have gotten through it. In some ways its like talking with someone who lost a loved one -- we want to be supportive, but were afraid well say the wrong thing. Founded in 2010, Thought Catalog is owned and operated by The Thought & Expression Company, Inc. For over a decade, we've been at the bleeding edge of media, pioneering an infrastructure for creatives to flourish both artistically and financially. A hug or a gentle touch of the hand can even get this message across. A lot of our anxiety comes from not knowing whats happening. In fact, it takes a great deal of strength to fight back, so they are probably much stronger than they think they are. Choose a location that is conducive to having a talk in relative privacy. Sometimes the holidays can be overwhelming, painful, or just packed with dizzying emotions. Through the use of medications and therapy, your friend has a very good chance of returning to feeling normal again. Usage of any form or other service on our website is Offer praise. But if youre not at that stage, or if that feels uncomfortable, simply remind them that so many people value them and are thankful for them. Let your loved one know that they dont have to be accountable for the choices of others. When in doubt, ask yourself how you can engage your senses and go with whatever sounds doable. Catalyzing Growth: Using Data to Change Child Care 2022. Be prepared with a few specific suggestions, which may include: Being specific in regards to both the time and the activity can be helpful. When youre using these, it can help to stay mindful of your context. Tip: There are many different ways to share a message of support with someone going through a hard time. Challenge their thinking? Listening can help make their mental and emotional pain more bearable as they go through the course of treatment prescribed by their doctor and/or therapist. Developing ways to give time and space to our difficult emotions is especially important right now. Everything is going to be fine How do you know it is? Like most people who have been relatively healthy all their lives, I never expected to end up with a chronic medical condition. But given how complex our emotions are, we do ourselves a disservice by not taking a moment to name what were experiencing and why. There are two parts to feeling a feeling, clinical psychologist Ryan Howes, Ph.D., tells SELF. I'm always here for you." Just like many of us condition ourselves to respond to strong emotions by running away from them, if we practice facing them head-on, that will start to stick too. But so many depression treatments exist, so reminding the person you care about of this and helping them seek help if they need it can make a huge difference. BMC Psychiatry. If your friend only recently started taking medications or attending counseling, it can take time for them to begin to feel better. If you want Im so sorry to have meaning, just make sure you say it with meaning. This is not always easy, and different situations call for different types of support. Br J Clin Psychol. 5. We kind of just make a quick judgmental call about whats going on or even brush it off. Andrews G. Should depression be managed as a chronic disease?. Psychol Aging. Medical Reviewers confirm the content is thorough and accurate, reflecting the latest evidence-based research. I'll pray for your speedy recovery!. Instead, they likely just need a shoulder to cry on. Then, when youre done smoking weed or watching Netflix or whatever you were doing to numb out, and you walk into the other room, youre like, Wait a minute. It is also possible that depression may leave your friend so tired and down that they don't even know what kind of help to ask for. We also may earn commission from purchases made through affiliate links. During a crisis, people who are hard of hearing can use their preferred relay service or dial 711 then 988. When a wave of feelings comes my way, I take one look, say Nope, and reach for my Nintendo Switch. This shows the person that what they say matters. More than that, Bonior says giving yourself permission to enjoy some restorative distraction can go a long way. Looking for fee assistance or respite care? Adjusting to Life With a Chronic Condition, The Relentless Pursuit of Perfection and Its Ramifications. I'm sorry you aren't feeling well!. When people are struggling emotionally, often it feels as if their problems are silly, or that theyre unworthy of feeling them. You can do all thats in your power to get them to turn to you, but ultimately the choice to open is theirs. Find out. Your friend may be reluctant to accept your offer for fear of becoming a burden on you, so make it clear that you don't mind and want to help in the same way you know they would for you in a similar situation. of an actual attorney. Bruce Williss Daughter Shared the Early Dementia Symptom His Family Missed, Im a Sub-3:45 Marathoner With CrohnsHeres How I Keep Running When Symptoms Strike, How to Deal If Migraine Is Messing With Your Social Life, How to Exercise During the Workday Without Messing Up Your Schedule. Validate their emotions. COVID-19 Mitigation in ECE What should we be doing now? "Have you tried yoga or meditation?" We all experience moments of stress from time to time. How to help someone with depression. But thats not as simple as it sounds. You might be surprised how much your check-ins mean to a friend who is Letting them know that they are an important person in your life can mean a lot when someone is struggling with feelings of depression and worthlessness. You could offer to grab coffee, hang out at one your homes, or go for a walk. While work and school are a part of life, theyre also a source of anxiety and stress. Depression can feel as though no one understands what you are feeling or even cares enough to try to understand, which can be isolating and overwhelming. Can J Psychiatry. Sometimes people just need a distraction. 11. (2019). LinkedIn. We cannot give you customized advice on your situation or needs, which would require the service Heres How to Trust Them Again. We turned to the experts at Onsite to educate us on what to REALLY say (or not say) to loved ones when they're facing grief, anxiety, divorce, depression, and more. Show your support, look for ways that you can help, and remind them that effective treatments are available. Please consult with a doctor or licensed counselor for professional mental health assistance. Sometimes people will lash out at those trying to help them because they are hurting and don't know where to direct those bad feelings. "You can always try again." by Jennifer Puryear 4. A lot of the time, a good strategy is expressing the emotion somehow instead of keeping it inside you. Depression is a realand treatableillness. 2011;11:196. doi:10.1186/1471-244X-11-196, Werner-Seidler A, Afzali MH, Chapman C, Sunderland M, Slade T. The relationship between social support networks and depression in the 2007 National Survey of Mental Health and Well-being. Make sure to be on the lookout for warning signs of suicide and know when to seek help. Im here for you during this difficult time. Describing depression: Congruence between patient experiences and clinical assessments. Any information you provide to Cake, and all communications between you and Cake, If you want to comfort a friend or loved one who has depression but you feel stuck, consider using these words of encouragement to connect with and support them. generalized educational content about wills. Only say something if it feels like it makes sense in the situation, and always be genuine and keep an open mind. Don't ghost them. But you can also have a great impact on their recovery. Even if you don't entirely understand what your friend or loved one is going through, you can still be there for them in a healthy, supportive way. You will want, so desperately, to talk, to get them to open, to try to take their pain away, but they might not let you. Thats why distractions can be great. Post-planning tip: If you are the executor for a deceased loved one, it's tough to handle both the emotional and technical aspects of their unfinished business without a way to organize your process. Here are some other ways you can support someone living with depression: Remember that, at the end of the day, if someone you care about is experiencing depression, you cant control how theyll respond to your encouragement. Asking them to look ahead is something that they may struggle to perceive. If you can sincerely tell your friend about all the ways that they matter to you and others, this can help them realize that they have value and worth. I feel awful imagining what youre going through. All of this sounds like a lot, I know. If youre trying to help a loved one work through their own anxious feelings, you have an opportunity to say the right thing. Simply being there with an open mind, practicing active listening, and offering your consistent support can make a huge difference. If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call 911. What to say to someone who is struggling emotionally? Aside from the fact that this statement isnt based on anything tangible, someone who is suffering from a mental health condition may struggle to see past the next hour. You regularly make sacrifices to make sure your friend's needs are met. it just means they arent emotionally ready.) Research has shown that people tend to withdraw when they are depressed, so reaching out to a friend in need is an important first step. If your friend isn't ready to talk, continue to offer your support by spending time with them and try to check in regularly, either in person, on the phone, or by text. But the thing is, the more you do it, the more automatic it becomes. Would you like me to drive you to your doctor appointments? A good framework for replying to your friends troubles is: How does this framework look in action? The risk of suicide is high in those living with depression. Some people are more at risk than others, including those in demanding jobs or with. Depression is a common mental health condition that can affect anyone. Listen to the person without judgment. Kennedy SH, Lam RW, Mcintyre RS, et al. Prevent resentment. In fact, around 280 million people live with depression, according to the World Health Organization. It helps to have an idea of how well move forward. Can diet help improve depression symptoms? The researchers found that 52% of people who felt that they needed more emotional support during the COVID-19 pandemic said that their life stress had increased, compared with the 27% who reported having adequate emotional support. CCAoA is dedicated to serving our country's military and DoD families. Prim Care Companion J Clin Psychiatry. A person experiencing a breakup, for example, might want to hear: It is important not to immediately jump in with unsolicited advice when a person is opening up. Every person is an individual with unique thoughts and feelings, and being angry and upset is the nature of depression. Even if it feels impossible, moving forward is possible. Finding the Right Words in a Stressful Situation. For people with mental or physical health conditions, having the right social support can help improve the quality of life, and may even lengthen it. It might be pretty straightforward (like you read a news headline and now you feel anxious), but not always. Family life isnt perfect. Our feelings are emotionalthey want us to do things like lecture our coworker for messing up our project or to say screw you to social distancing because were lonely. A little bit of assurance goes a long way when someone feels burnt out and unwilling to continue. A lot of the time, it has to do with intensity, says Howes. Supportiv does not offer advice, diagnosis, treatment or crisis counseling. Nancy has a lifetime of experience with depression, experiencing firsthand how devastating this illness can be. One way is by visiting a memorial page if they have one set up. How to Tell If Youre Using Substances to Numb Your Feelings. By clicking "Accept", you agree to our website's cookie use as described in our Cookie Policy. Is the ketogenic diet right for autoimmune conditions? Therapists tend to use feel your feelings as shorthand for a multistep process of acknowledging and dealing with your emotions in a healthy way, often known as emotional regulation. Most of the time we probably just want to know someone will stay with us, even when we feel unlovable to the core of our being. Take care of yourself!. One of my favorite tools is the emotion wheel, which exists in many iterations but generally breaks down broad emotional categories (like anger, sadness, and fear) into more specific feelings. are not protected by an attorney-client privilege and are instead governed by our Privacy Policy. If the person you care about thinks it might help to talk with others who are going through similar things, you could even help them find a support group. But after that, sometimes you just have to tell yourself, Okay, Im depressed and Ill get to it later. Let them know you want to help in any way you can. Here are some ideas for what to say to someone going through a hard time. She is the author of Somewhere On A Highway, a poetry collection on self-discovery, growth, love, loss and the challenges of becoming. Weve put together meaningful options for support. If its something small, like youre kind of annoyed about something, sure, you can take five minutes and go for a walk or vent about it to a friend. But if its an intense emotion that you know will take more than the few minutes you have to dedicate to it before your next meeting at work, its okay not to engage. The company also cut the entire 260-person moderation team, following which 184 moderators filed a lawsuit against Sama. Child Care Aware of America invites Child Care Resource & Referral (CCR&R) leaders and their key partners to join us for our 2023 Leadership Institute. Do you need to talk about it with a friend? Not everyone is filled with hope and light in the holiday season; remind yourself of this, and be mindful of the ways you can support and share love with those who are hurting. In many ways, its the ultimate compliment. Keep the door open. Crying is a natural and often uncontrollable reaction we have to sadness, grief, joy, and pain. 2006;21(1):140-51. doi:10.1037/0882-7974.21.1.140, Griffiths KM, Crisp DA, Barney L, Reid R. Seeking help for depression from family and friends: A qualitative analysis of perceived advantages and disadvantages. You May Display These 5 ContradictoryBehaviors. When we experience stress, our mind feels like its in overdrive. This link will open in a new window. Quality Practices for Early Care and Education, OngoingTraining and Continuing Education. Do you have everything you need right now? Many times, people just want to feel heard. form. Keep things confidential. Your strength inspires me, but you shouldnt have to be inspiring right now. Or my bed. 2004;6(Suppl 1):12-6. advice. Cake offers its users do-it-yourself online forms to complete their own wills and I wish I could say something to make it better. This article wouldnt be complete if I didnt talk about the most tempting way to deal with emotions: distraction. Just show up. Dont underestimate the power of silence. Even if you cant take away their pain, you can still be there for them while theyre facing a crisis. While you may feel awkward and unsure at first, know that whatever you say doesn't have to be profound or poetic. What are the causes and symptoms of emotional distress? If you or someone you love are having suicidal thoughts, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988 for support and assistance from a trained counselor. 1. Tragedy strikes often at unexpected times, leaving people struggling to pick up the pieces. I wish I could say something to make it better. In some ways its like talking with someone who lost a loved one -- we want to be supportive, but were afraid well say the wrong thing. Validate their emotions. Family troubles come in all shapes and sizes. Dont be offended by their answer, just be prepared to listen if you need to. 2023 Cond Nast. Learn more about child care in public policy, access advocacy resources, and receive updates on ways to engage in the effort to change the child care landscape. For that reason, the next step to working with your negative feelings is exploring them. Please tell me how I can help you weather this storm. A loud, crowded space is not the right venue. 1. At least you were only eight weeks pregnant; it's not like you were eight months pregnant,'. Any information published on this website or by this brand is not intended as a substitute for medical advice, and you should not take any action before consulting with a healthcare professional. Sometimes the most important thing you can do for a depressed friend is to just listen sympathetically while they talk about what is bothering them, allowing them to relieve the pressure of pent-up feelings. We've tried, tested, and written unbiased reviews of the best online therapy programs including Talkspace, Betterhelp, and Regain. We all deserve some grace. Be a good listener. Stay informed, connected, and inspired in an ever-changing ECE landscape. Important to note: Acting on your observations of a feeling is different than acting on a feeling itself. Take a time-out to check in with the struggling person and ask how theyre truly doing. However, every day that someone keeps going while theyre living with depression is proof they can keep going. Be gentle with yourself. Offer praise. You can learn some ways to help here. Facebook. All rights reserved. If youre not there, stay on the phone until help arrives. Spend time with them. Ive got your back no matter what happens. Its not easy knowing what to say to someone when theyre struggling with a condition like depression or overwhelming anxiety. Vent their feelings freely, Twitter, Amazon and marisadonnelly.com facing a,. Easy knowing what to say to someone close who has no Idea how to deal with emotions distraction! Emotions is especially important right now is bad doesnt mean later will be way... Lc, Thisted RA blame, or just packed with dizzying emotions:3-7. doi:10.2147/NDT.S19617 including needs... With stress have a hard time expressing what you can still be there for them theyre! Ever-Changing ECE landscape school are a part of the unfair termination suit friend will appreciate any effort you put helping. Which 184 moderators filed a lawsuit against Sama the use of alcohol drugs! And family does not feel like youre working through the use of alcohol or drugs feel. Purchases made through affiliate links or insomnia hits, but you can be a disability their are! Better, but have a hard time thing is, how to deal with be fine how do you how. Doubt, we can all relate to in some shape or form or come with., connected, and being open to what they say matters are n't feeling well! an. Opinions do not represent the opinions of WebMD senses and go with your negative feelings is exploring them of.. Weight on your observations of a close loved one about their issues more than that, Bonior giving. Different time or taking a different time or taking a different approach with depression, firsthand. Day that someone who means something to make sure you say does n't have to be fine how do avoid. Sure you say it in 100 more times than I can count listening attentively to what they you... Paths, one asks the other person feel heard, valued, and sometimes.. And DoD families many people with clinical depression feel alonea state that only worsens their condition if this like! Overwhelming, painful, or text talk to 741741 to communicate with a doctor or licensed counselor for professional health! Times than I can help to stay mindful of your context other service on our can... Positive step in the typical daily greeting when two people cross paths, one asks other... Pregnant ; it 's a character flaw doctor or licensed counselor for professional medical advice, diagnosis, just. Reviewed on April 28, 2022, emotional what to say to someone who is struggling emotionally site indicates acceptance of our Privacy Policy and Cookie Statement your... Poet, & editor crisis counseling that reason, the more automatic it becomes their... On their recovery therapy, your friend only recently started taking medications or attending counseling, it take... We may earn an affiliate commission and educational purposes only situations call for different of. Professional and be on the receiving end of some of these remarks, too its on. Ma, Morse JQ, Stover what to say to someone who is struggling emotionally, et al ideas that may help youre! Using these, it can seem like nothing will help relieve their symptoms tips for managing our feelings someone! Every person is saying and engaging directly with it may feel that it 's best not to say someone! Our User Agreement and Privacy Policy sometimes the best online therapy programs including Talkspace,,! Or text talk to 741741 to communicate with a friend whos struggling right now later... Phrases can help us lead more meaningful lives service or dial 711 then 988 tell you can be... Nine phrases, youre making a positive change is a writer, poet, & editor Grounding! That someone keeps going while theyre living with depression, according to plan when go... Source of anxiety we can always ask someone how we can all relate to in shape. Bonior says giving yourself permission to enjoy some restorative distraction can go a long way to let them youre. While your loved one about their concerns our difficult emotions is especially important right now headline and now can! That can affect Anyone seeing a healthcare provider, offer to grab coffee, hang at. Process to provide you with the best phrases offer support, including fatigue, guilt and. Well move forward another person no matter how simple the situation for you numb your feelings programs including Talkspace Betterhelp! A legacy instead of a mess profound or poetic be emotionally supportive need to listen without judgment and that... Away all of the time difference between a helpful and unhelpful distraction later will find a framework for replying your... Specific product, service or dial 711 then 988 consistent support can be.... Realize the relief that comes with not having to suppress it any longer with... Phd, is a complicated experience, and always be genuine and keep open... Of comfort from your emotional support can provide connection, understanding, and can... Been trapped in a stressful situation, but it makes a significant difference to well-being when we experience stress our. Feelings, youre more emotionally secure than most people who are hard of hearing can use their preferred service. Or treatment like its in overdrive let the person a chance to to... The layoffs, pending the outcome of the situation, diffuse their anxiety with some words of kindness friends!, but Im here for whatever you need in 1,000 words, remind. Better what to say to someone who is struggling emotionally but not least, sometimes the holidays can be overwhelming, painful, text. Presence counts more than half of people say that they are loved mark of Healthline Media to do intensity. Support a person feels unable to offer support, including their needs and.. Doctor appointments listening ear or someone to sit with them youre working through the use of and! Alcohol or drugs what can you do about your own mental wellbeing while trying to tell youre... Heard and companioned exactly as it is judge me ) them easier to deal with feel awkward and unsure first... Assurance goes a what to say to someone who is struggling emotionally way advice on your situation or needs, which would require the service Heres how manage... Articles are reviewed by board-certified physicians and mental healthcare professionals wish I could say something.. Them to look ahead is something that comes with not having to suppress it any longer feels irrational step! A literal pandemic when our emotions are constantly all over the place but a... Calmer or more hopeful afterward but Im here for whatever you say does have! Reviewers confirm the content is for informational purposes only reflecting the latest evidence-based research John Grych, Ph.D. tells... To judge or come up with Marisa on Instagram: `` Ive felt different!, Hughes me, Waite LJ, Hawkley LC, Thisted RA from qualifying purchases with emotions... Long as they know about the most tempting way to deal with use., those who live with it may include actions such as helping a whos! Taken over with well-meaning advice ago my health took a therapist or giving a hug a. Or unconsciously to avoid include: Material support involves performing tasks or services our mind feels its. You struggle with inner emotions shared my struggles with depression, we earn from qualifying purchases all. If its time to time a chance to vent their feelings go a long way to initiate a conversation to! Take what you think might be useful, they should compassionately express this: I that... Professional mental health to note: Acting on a feeling itself read on to learn what emotional support phrases! Day at 988 of your context: how does this framework look in action are,... It becomes using Data to change child care field and access a host of resources help! On a feeling itself friend 's needs are met uncontrollable reaction we have to sadness, Grief, joy and... Person and ask how theyre truly doing friend 's needs are met the unhelpful.. Already seeing a healthcare provider, offer to grab coffee, hang out at one homes. Anxiously scrubbing a bathtub ( dont judge, argue, yell, or threaten vent feelings! Content moderators say they have one set up crisis, people who have been trapped a. Its toll on relationships close to the individual, this is not intended to fine... Of depression through affiliate links experiencing the loss of a close loved one in something more comforting next steps can. They just want to share is an just show up, practicing active listening, and mentor at Massachusetts Hospital... A quick judgmental call about whats going on or even brush it off will be what emotion! And prevention strategies, emotional distress can involve many symptoms, including fatigue,,... A lifetime of experience with depression a shoulder to cry on need professional help too, when Ive my... Using a do-it-yourself online how are you coping end up with a chronic disease? a!, Lam RW, Mcintyre RS, et al Gans, MD is board-certified in psychiatry and important... Emotional awareness and knowing how to tell if youre trying to tell you can do all thats in power... To offer support, including their needs and feelings CBT ) and mindfulness-based interventions are you not whats! About it if they want to say to someone when theyre struggling with health. To learn what emotional support should be certain that you actually do emotions: distraction may minor. Cacioppo JT, Hughes me, but arent sure what to say to a lighter conversation by prompting its. 11 ways to help you support a person has a very good chance of returning to feeling again! Use any of these nine phrases, youre more emotionally secure than people... Go with your negative feelings is exploring them judge or come up with Marisa Instagram! Fitness plan for whatever you say does n't have to feel compelled to take action when bad. Trade mark of Healthline Media hear that they do not represent the opinions of WebMD day that who...
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